Chapter 13 Rode hard and put away wet. The Cucumber lives!

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Re: Chapter 13 Rode hard and put away wet. The Cucumber lives!

#41

Post by Bubbathegimp »

2 cartons of Malboro Red a day were starting to take their toll on his yodeling career. Sure, He could rumble out the bass as needed, but Soon he wouldn't be able to hit the high notes like he once did, even with hiring somebody to stand behind him in the shadows, and twisting his nuts from behind at the proper que...

It was becoming so bad, That some people started accusing him of trying to imitate The loose walk of Extra Fine Johnson, A talented voice in his own right...
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Re: Chapter 13 Rode hard and put away wet. The Cucumber lives!

#42

Post by W9FTV »

Margie had heard of Cardella. And she'd heard what the bitch had to say about her. That kind of pissed Margie off, but it also amused her.
She knew that the Sunday school teacher schtick had about run it's course and would have to be dispensed with soon, which made her somewhat sad.
Being partial to the teachings of the old testament, she'd really enjoyed teaching those entitled little shits right from wrong. Margie had a mean streak, she really enjoyed the divine retribution bit. It scared those rotten little snot nosed bastards but good. She felt secure in the knowledge that Mom would approve.

She also knew about Cardella's exploits and her singular need to crush the spirit of any man she took a fancy to. Margie had found a better way. She'd learned to give as good as she got and give her all while she did it. All that toxic twat Cardella knew was how to take.

A plan to take Cardella down for good started to form in Margie's mind. She'd need to talk to Mom who was always ready to play devil's advocate and had far more knowledge of worldly matters than Margie ever would.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. --Winston Churchill
Never ring the bell. -- Adm William McRaven
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Re: Chapter 13 Rode hard and put away wet. The Cucumber lives!

#43

Post by K9ase »

The crowded hushed as Mom walked into the Buzzard. Even the Baptist pilates class silenced itself in reverie to who they thought
was a chaste and pure woman. The truth was the Buzzard was a step up from the places that Mom liked to frequent. She much preferred west Texas biker bars to touristy places like the Buzzard.
But, since EF. Johnson had asked to meet her here and he was buying the drinks she really couldn't complain. Johnson had enjoyed being caught up in Margie and Cardella's catfight but knew that the work on unobtanium was more important.
Mom had always liked Johnson. He knew the value of a sturdy kneeler and a good set of rosary beads and was a lot more enjoyable than a candle and a prayer book, so if Johnson was calling she was glad to oblige.
"Life is hard;It's harder when you're stupid"
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Re: Chapter 13 Rode hard and put away wet. The Cucumber lives!

#44

Post by W9FTV »

Mother Superior, with her ever present stogie, cast a jaundiced eye across the sea of sad sacks in the bar, sat down and ordered her usual, a double neat Everclear. She leaned back in her chair, cracked a big grin and asked "How's tricks, you old bastard?" "Oh, about the same, Mom. As usual we're still running the scam on Floyd and Cardella" allowed Extra Fine. Knowing full well that Cardella was still up to her usual tricks, she asked, "That dried up old bag of bones is still in business? I figured the Chinese would've dealt with her permanently after she'd jacked their entire string of ultra-classified ground stations. She must have some pretty good dirt on them to remain alive after a stunt like that." "She does seem to have more than her fair share of luck" EF replied. "So, what's with the powwow, Mortimer?" Mother Superior was the only person alive who could use his given name. "Hell," she thought "I may be the only person alive to even know his real name."

"Well, Mom you know we've been after a source of unobtainium, right? El Chorizo may have found a way to mass produce it." Stunned, the always unflappable Mom nearly choked on her drink "no shit?" she whispered "unobtanium? I knew you boys were up to something big, but goddamn! unobtanium!" "We think it's possible. The math seems to hold up and if we're right, it's not all that tough to do."
Mom thought privately "could it be that my prayers have been answered?" An ounce of that stuff could power her entire operation for centuries and make it self-sustaining. No more going hat in hand to that pompous sawed off little shit, The Bishop. As it was the gambling operation barely paid to keep the lights on and usually needed a cash infusion at the end of the month. With unobtanium, she could own the entire infrastructure and tell those greedy fucks at Hostgator to kiss her ass once and for all.
She could also set up and perpetually fund 401k's for all the girls.

"So, what can me and the girls do to help?"
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. --Winston Churchill
Never ring the bell. -- Adm William McRaven
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Re: Chapter 13 Rode hard and put away wet. The Cucumber lives!

#45

Post by AC8UN »

Well you see Mom the key to the whole process is the top secret ramen recipe hidden under the Crest radio museum, it's vital. But the proprietor of that institution has been less than forthcoming with that information, but he's a devout Catholic we are hoping that you can get thru to him with your special methods you lovely penguin.
Now civilized for your protection. :Grin:
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Re: Chapter 13 Rode hard and put away wet. The Cucumber lives!

#46

Post by W9FTV »

"And if possible, we'd like your irregulars to keep tabs on activities around the red light district and run interference if needed." EF said.
Mom considered these requests for a few minutes and cracked her neck and knuckles. "Patrick is no problem, he's a good boy and will fall into line. The irregulars are quite busy these days, however. I'll ask Margie if she can help out." Mom had heard about EF's Oscar worthy performance at the Buffet/Whorehouse and was impressed.

Years previously, Margie was considered a "fallen angel" due to an unfortunate event in the City Hall fountain that was plastered on the front page of the local rag and was officially stricken off the Order's books. Later, Mom had called her into the office where they had a very private conversation. Mom pitched an idea she'd been kicking around for years. "It breaks my heart to say it, but, you can't be a nun anymore, Margie. You know that." "Yes, Mother Superior" Margie replied in a quiet voice. "I know you've got a great heart and and exceptional head on your shoulders, child. You can still be of great service to our cause, and secretly remain in the order, but it'll take some sacrifices" Mom said. "What service can I provide and what sacrifices will be necessary?"
"First you need to know that there is no official support and your operation can't be tied back to the Order, you'll be on your own. We'll do what we can on the down low to help you. We need you to set up and run a very quiet, circumspect arm of the order that collects information that we need to survive. I've already spoken to a few other fallen angels and they're in. First, we'll need to create a cover and get you married. Second, you'll need to find a way to keep tabs on the goings on in the criminal underground in Clam Falls and report back when you can. I've taken the liberty to set up a secure comms channel for you to use. You'll need at least a Technician Amateur radio license and this beat up, old Baofeng I was able lift from the Bishop. I've set you up with EF Johnson as your elmer to help with your licensing studies. At times we may ask you and the other girls to do distasteful or even illegal things that go against your training and temperament, but know that they are of the utmost importance. God and your powerful intellect will provide the guidance you need when we make these requests."

Margie thought about all this and said "Yes, I'll do it. I've got some ideas to help with the legend and I know exactly where to go to get wired into the underground. I'll moonlight as a whore at Whoa Fat!. It's a whorehouse sandwiched between the Chinese Buffet and the Consulate." As far as a husband, Dirk Digglersen was the mark. He was dumb as a post, but kinda sweet and had one other amazing attribute that might make her life with him bearable.
Then she hit on the master stroke "What if I were to become a Sunday School teacher?"

Mom cracked a huge smile, leaned back in her chair and puffed on her cigar in reply. Later, as she closed the door, she whispered "Go with God, my child" to the empty room.
The next day, Mom ordered a copy of "Wild Bill Donovan: The Spymaster Who Created the OSS and Modern American Espionage" from Amazon and had it shipped to Margie's temporary flop,
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. --Winston Churchill
Never ring the bell. -- Adm William McRaven
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Re: Chapter 13 Rode hard and put away wet. The Cucumber lives!

#47

Post by Bubbathegimp »

Mother Superior didn't realize that Margie was developing a Devout following of her own. She had ever so slowly worked on recruiting "Just the right/wrong people" on the sidelines, while learning patiently under the tutledge of the old master. All she would have to do is bide her time until it was time to strike, And she believed she would come away with the whole enchilada. The Cucumber, El Chorizo, The secret Top Ramen - Unobtainium formula and all.

It was rumored that Pat had lost the secret Ramen formula after stashing it in the carcass of an old SB-101 buried deep in the bowels of the crest radio museum. He had always admired Extra Fine Johnson, But could only aspire to be half the Ham of Bill halligan.
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Re: Chapter 13 Rode hard and put away wet. The Cucumber lives!

#48

Post by W9FTV »

Mother Superior selected the newly minted Fr. Arph Murphy to contact Pat. She'd selected Fr. Arph for several reasons.
The primary reason was that he was the new face of American Catholicism, He was living proof that there was room for everyone in the Church. A foundling, Fr. Arph had been raised by a pack of feral chihuahuas on the Mulholland drive hillsides close to Laurel Canyon. Secondly, he was illiterate and not quite up to par in the verbal arts. He also had the unfortunate tendency to stop and lick his balls at the drop of a hat and to scoot across carpets to ensure his ass was clean. These last two habits weren't really desirable in a priest, but did help him to easily blend in with the local elite.
At the age of twelve, he was found by a roving band of Jehovas' Witnesses who thought it'd be a hoot to leave him with the Catholics. Over the years, some in the Church opined that he'd escaped from Neverland Ranch, but nothing was ever proven. All that anyone really knew about him was that when Thriller was played, he'd hump the nearest human leg and that Kibbles and Bits was his favorite treat during seminary.

The flight from Clam Falls International to LAX was horrible, with no booze, turbulent weather and a shitty in-flight movie. Mom was tired and irritable, but on edge while she waited for Murphy to show up. Finally, there was a discreet knock on the door Murphy and his handler entered the room. Since Fr. Arph wasn't much of a talker, the meeting was short and to the point. She waved one of Pat's old T-shirts under Arph's nose, rolled up a short note and put it in the canister on his collar and said "Find, Boy!" She would've used the diocese's 2 meter repeater, but it'd been compromised by Unitarians.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. --Winston Churchill
Never ring the bell. -- Adm William McRaven
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Re: Chapter 13 Rode hard and put away wet. The Cucumber lives!

#49

Post by WZ7U »

Y'all have lost your ever lovin minds.
de Eric, WZ7U, CN86jc
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Re: Chapter 13 Rode hard and put away wet. The Cucumber lives!

#50

Post by Bubbathegimp »

WZ7U wrote: Sun Aug 11, 2019 7:38 pm Y'all have lost your ever lovin minds.
Exclaimed Sue, as Margie tried to recruit her to spy the location of the hidden SB-101 containing the special Ramen - Unobtainium formula...
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