Truely Tasteless Jokes Rides Again

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Welcome to the "Seedy side of the tracks!"
Warning: You entered on your own and have no one else to blame for your questionable choices in life, including gaining access to the Seedy side of the tracks.

This is the "speakeasy" section of Cornpone.net.
Feel free to let your hair down and share tasteless, dirty jokes and conversation.
Personal attacks against others will not be tolerated.
Illegal content will be reported to the proper authorities.

Other than that, we'll have to play it by ear.
Enjoy! W9FTV
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W1TRY
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Re: Truely Tasteless Jokes Rides Again

#31

Post by W1TRY »

A man walks into his doctor's office to get his wife's test results.
His doctor tells him, "Your wife's results came back positive. I can't remember if it was AIDS or Alzheimer's though."
The man replies, "That's not very helpful. Can you just test her again?"
The doctor replies, "How about you drop her off a couple of streets away from home and if she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
Get off my lawn!
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Re: Truely Tasteless Jokes Rides Again

#32

Post by KK4ZYM »

Two nuns are riding their bikes through some old Roman streets. The younger says, "I've never come this way before." The older one replies, "It's the cobblestones."
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Re: Truely Tasteless Jokes Rides Again

#33

Post by Bubbathegimp »

The Doctor that had been seeing an 80 year old woman for most of her life finally retired.
At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been
prescribed for her. As the Doctor was looking through these,his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills.

"Mrs Smith, do you realize that these are Birth Control pills?
"Yes, they help me sleep at night"
"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is Nothing in these that could possibly help you sleep!

The old lady reached out and patted the young Doctors knee..."Yes, dear, I know that. But every
morning, I grind one up and mix it in a glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks.
and believe me, it definitely helps me sleep at night."
You gotta love Grandmas
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Re: Truely Tasteless Jokes Rides Again

#34

Post by Juan Largo »

Nymphomaniacs Anonymous

A man seated in a plane flying from New York to Madrid was looking around as the plane began to fill up. He soon noticed that a beautiful young lady had just sat down next to him and she was wearing a t-shirt with a large "N.A." on the front.

As a way of breaking the ice, he asked:

-Excuse me, but what does the "N.A." on your T-shirt mean?

-Oh.. it means "Nymphomaniacs Anonymous"... I just attended our semi-annual meeting yesterday..

-Really, how interesting... and what do you do in your meetings? Asked the man.

-Oh, we talk about the quality of the men around the world... For example, in our last meeting I learned that Spanish men are the most demonstrative men in the world, and as you probably guessed, that's why I'm on this plane to Madrid...

-Wow, that’s fascinating.

-Yes... I also learned that Mother Nature has been particularly generous to Mongolian men...

-Oh, that’s very interesting...

-By the way, my name’s Bambi, what's your name?

-Oh me, Genghis Gomez..
Don’t Dream It. Drive It.
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Re: Truely Tasteless Jokes Rides Again

#35

Post by W9FTV »

JACK DANIEL'S TRICK:
A woman goes to a counselor, worried about her husband’s temper. The counselor asks, "What's the problem?"
The woman says, "I don't know what to do. Every day my husband loses his temper for no reason. It scares me."
The Counselor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems your husband is getting angry, take a double shot of Jack Daniel's and swish it in your mouth. Swish and swish, but don't swallow until he either leaves the room or calms down."
Two weeks later, she goes back to the counselor, looking fresh and reborn.
She tells the counselor, "That was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband started to get angry, I swished the Jack. I swished and swished, and he calmed down. How does swishing Jack Daniel's in your mouth do that?"
The counselor said, "The Jack Daniel's does nothing. Keeping your mouth shut is the trick."
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. --Winston Churchill
Never ring the bell. -- Adm William McRaven
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Re: Truely Tasteless Jokes Rides Again

#36

Post by Bubbathegimp »

I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60 year old. In fact, She wasn't too bad at all, And found myself thinking she probably has a really hot daughter. We drank a couple beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a sportsman's double? "What's that? I asked."It's a mother and daughter threesome.' she said.

As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like. I said, No. I haven't.' We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink,'Tonight's your lucky night'.
We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:"Mom...you still awake?'
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Re: Truely Tasteless Jokes Rides Again

#37

Post by W9FTV »

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study were incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of 2 million Euros, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex. When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study. The Aussies didn't really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around 75 dollars (three cases of beer), the Aussie study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. --Winston Churchill
Never ring the bell. -- Adm William McRaven
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Re: Truely Tasteless Jokes Rides Again

#38

Post by W9FTV »

An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said, "Excuse me, but I'm not a gynecologist." "I know," said the old lady. "I want you to take my husband's teeth out.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. --Winston Churchill
Never ring the bell. -- Adm William McRaven
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Re: Truely Tasteless Jokes Rides Again

#39

Post by W1TRY »

What do Rednecks do on Thanksgiving?
Pump kin
Get off my lawn!
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Re: Truely Tasteless Jokes Rides Again

#40

Post by W9FTV »

Little Jack was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- Fireman, policeman, salesman, etc...
Jack was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes In front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little Jack aside to ask him,
"Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said Jack,
"He worked for the Obama administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. --Winston Churchill
Never ring the bell. -- Adm William McRaven
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